you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
