Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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