well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
so much tequila, so little girl.
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PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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