From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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