I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
