Please, let me fuck your mom
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
