We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
