At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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