So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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