But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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