Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
