I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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