Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize