I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
