went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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