I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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