I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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