Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
