Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
