I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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