TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
