I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
