you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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