I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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