i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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