Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
