you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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