My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize