if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
