Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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