the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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