I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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