Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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