When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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