broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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