no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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