idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
