i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm passing your future prison.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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