stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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