We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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