Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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