if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
