im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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