This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
