There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
