I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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