the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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