Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this will be a night to untag.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize