i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
