You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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