he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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