I met the friendliest cop last night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
