I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
