My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize